I related a story in our Connections group today about confidence. I watched my son’s soccer game yesterday, and was intrigued by the parallel between the game and our lives. My son’s soccer team is made up of 8 year olds through 12 year olds (playing in the 11-12 year old age group). They are a very skilled, competitive team, who went undefeated this season. They ran circles around the other teams at every game, and typically had at least a 5 point lead by the end of the first half. The coach had to get creative with ways to prevent them from scoring too many points, with challenges of passing to each of the other players and other things in previous games.

Yesterday, being the last game of the season, with the championship in the bag, the coach decided to issue a new challenge. Typically there are five players on the field on each side, plus the goalies. The coach started the game with three players on the field, plus the goalie. This is a team of skilled kids, who shouldn’t have had any difficulty playing the game, and scoring on the competition. They let a ball get through, then another, and all of a sudden the game wasn’t in their favor. They were losing. They were skilled and able to even the odds. What was happening? As the goalie hung his head, the rest of the team also seemed affected. They started to panic. They got overwhelmed. A little unsure of themselves? This wasn’t what they were used to.

As a parent sitting on the sidelines, I could see what the coach was doing. He was trying to even the odds, create a bit of a competitive game, and give our boys a boost in their performance. The team is young, however, the lesson still every bit as valuable. The boys weren’t pulling it together and putting points on the board. As we watched, the opposing team took at least a three point lead by the half. Our boys were not scoring.

At halftime the coach had a talk with the boys. I didn’t hear what was said. I can only assume there was talk of what the boys were focusing on, their ability, or the score. Their skill and confidence was affected by exterior things. They needed to dig deep, but that just wansn’t happening. The coach put five players back on the field for the second half. The score began to even out, then it completely changed. The players had scored a total of three goals in the first half, and nine in the second. They won the game, again.

I think this game had a few very important life lessons, that we can translate into business. The lesson for us each to consier is that we all have the skills, abilities, and confidence to do what we do when times are good. What happens when the game changes? When something unexpected comes up? Is it that we lose our skills and ability? I don’t think so. I think it comes down to our focus, what we let in, and what we can tune out. Where are you today? What is different than one year ago? When the score seems to be mounting in the opponents favor do you watch the scoreboard, or do you laser focus to make sure you get it done? Is it easier to score when you are down and out and your only option is success? What happens when the other team has more players on the field, or more business is coming their way? Do they get complacent? Lazy? Forgetting about what is important, and how to play the game?

My son is eleven, and has plenty of time to learn some life lessons. I applaud the coach for working with this, and for his comments after the game in trying to get the boys to understand they let their minds get in the way. I think I took more away from that game than the boys did.

When it comes down to confidence how do you pull from within when it matters the most?